Textbook Case
by spacemonkey766
Summary: Daniel talked rather professionally about being a textbook case to Vala....maybe there was a reason why..tells the story of Daniels journey as a textbook case....please read, enjoy, and review!
1. Chapter 1: Solitary Existence

**Textbook Case**

**Author: **Spacemonkey766

**Season: **pre-series to present

**Episode: **dialogue from Season 9's The Ties That Bind

**Rating: **M (content, language)

**Pairing: **mention of Daniel/Sha're and Daniel/Others(women and men) and a hint of Daniel/Cameron if you squint at the end lol)

**Spoilers: **not really

**Disclaimer: **SG-1 and all the characters that appeared in the show are MGM's and yadda yadda. Not mine. I'm just borrowing them and doing with them what I please. Will return relatively unscathed with minimal psychological injury.

**Authors Note: **I was watching Ties that Bind and the way Daniel just spoke about the defense mechanisms was odd. He seemed to be way too familiar with the symptoms, like he heard them and went through it. This tells the story of how Daniel knew all to well the what that textbook case was like.

**Warning: **this is a darker Daniel Jackson. Watching Daniel throughout the years really gave me the impression that his childhood wasn't a pleasant one. I always saw a dark emotional side in Daniel so that's what I portrayed. Speaking from experience, a teenage/young adult mind in certain situations can create a dark cynical outlook and view on life. So that's what I did to Daniel. If you hate it…sorry…but I stand by what I wrote.

**Intro:**

JACKSON: No… uh… (thinks) no! (walks over sitting on bed) No you're not… repulsive, you're just… uh…ya uuhhh… it's just that I know what you're doing with the whole sexual… thing. It's a defense Mechanism.

VALA: Really?

JACKSON: Yeah. You live a solitary existence, you…(Starts counting off on fingers) move from place to place, you never form any lasting relationships, you use sex as a weapon, prevent yourself from forming any real emotional bonds. (counts fingers nods)

VALA: Textbook case. (Daniel shrugs)

**Chapter 1 : Solitary existence**

Danny Jackson was alone. His parents were dead, his grandfather didn't want him, and any friends he had were in Egypt. He couldn't stop the tear that fell from his eye as he stared out the car's window. His eyes watched the buildings and stores go by from the back seat of his social worker's car. He didn't see the sad glimpse in the rearview mirror from his social worker as she looked to see if he had fallen asleep.

He hadn't fallen asleep. He just wasn't speaking. He hadn't spoken since the accident that took his parents away from him. He hadn't said a word at the funeral, to his grandfather, to anyone in five days. Danny tore his gaze away from the rain streaked window and stared at his lap where his hands lay folded on his lap. He then shifted his gaze to the new red sneakers his mother had bought for him in their first day in New York since Danny was six. Dad called them converse, Danny called them cool. He loved the color, so vibrant compared to the brown sandals he wore when he was home.

To Danny, Egypt was home. It was where most of his memories were, where he had spent most of his eight years. Mom said New York was home. Danny was born in New York but moved to Egypt when he was just one year old. It wasn't until Daniel was three that they would return to the United States. It was a brief stay, spanning just six months before they were back in Egypt, his parents working on another dig. On Danny's fourth birthday they flew back to New York and stayed there for two years. On Danny's sixth birthday they moved back to Egypt. The small family lived in Egypt until eight days ago. Mom said they wouldn't be staying long. A couple of weeks and they'd be on their way back to Egypt. She said that ten days ago when they went to buy Danny his new sneakers for his birthday.

Danny knew that wasn't the case anymore. His parents were gone. There would be no one to take him back to Egypt. New York would be his home for now on. The little boy was scared. As the car came to stop, Danny looked out the window to see a rather large building. He guessed this was the orphanage his social worker had told him about. It looked rather lonely in its massiveness. Danny knew life would be lonely from now on.

From now on he would have to speak English only, abandoning the three other languages he knew and the one he was in the process of learning. From now on there would be no one to call him Danny. All the grown ups kept calling him Daniel, not like his parents. And even at age eight, Danny knew that Daniel was going to be alone for a long time.


	2. Chapter 2: Move from place to place

Chapter 2 : Move from place to place

Daniel lay on his bed, his back arched over the edge, his head inches from the ground as he lay upside down. He had just finished packing his two suitcases and now waited for his social worker in his bedroom. Well, former bedroom. Daniel looked at his watch. In seventeen minutes he would be out of this hell hole.

Daniel's foster brothers, well former foster brothers, always teased him because of his habit of sitting like this. Truth was it relaxed Daniel. The world looked different this way and he liked it. It felt right. His life had been turned upside down when he was eight, so maybe if he turned himself upside down he'd be back where he started. Back to normalcy. It was a twisted philosophy that the boy genius knew was unrealistic and completely absurd. But every once in a while Daniel let himself enjoy the naivety that he no longer possessed.

Daniel knew it was sad that at age fifteen he had little hope left. He'd been to twenty one foster homes in seven years. He had been to every corner and nook of New York; from Long Island to Albany. He had experienced the worst in people and rarely, the best also. Daniel waited for the day he would find somewhere to belong. So far for him, New York wasn't it. These people weren't it.

Despite the fact that Daniel never stayed long enough in one place to establish what normal people would call a home, he liked the traveling. Going somewhere unknown did provide that little bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, the grass might be green over there. Things had to get better. At least that what he told himself. Sure, they weren't all bad. Some of his foster homes were actually quite pleasant. Either Daniel got in trouble at school with being a "smart-ass" when correcting the teacher or some other small problem that ripped Daniel away from the good homes, squashing his hope of maybe finding _the _home for him. And after being molested and beaten by dozens of foster parents, Daniel _only had _the hope that things would get better.

This time Daniel finally gained the courage to tell his social worker that he needed to leave, rather than her finding out the hard way. This was the first time in seven years and twenty one foster homes that Daniel was able to say to her that he needed to move again.

Looking at his watch again revealed that he had 8 minutes left. Daniel lifted himself from over the edge of the bed and sat on his bed, making a mental tally of his belongings and that he packed all of them. Satisfied, he got up off the bed and looked out the window and saw his social worker pull into the driveway. Daniel tightened the laces on his red converse sneakers and tied his denim jacket around his waist. Daniel pulled down the sleeves over his forearms and wrists, hiding the bruises left by his former foster father and the scars from the razor left by his own hand. They were healing nicely from his own bout of personal abuse eight months ago, something he vowed to be strong enough to never do again. He saw his social worker make her way up to the house. His watch said she was five minutes earlier. That put a smile on Daniel's face. Maybe things were looking up. Maybe this move would be the one he could stay at until he graduated next year. Daniel could only hope.


	3. Chapter 3: Never form any Lasting Relati

Chapter 3 : Never form any Lasting Relationships

Daniel flipped off Jessica as she walked away from him. With her back turned to him, she didn't see it. Daniel wouldn't have done if it she could see him. He told her he agreed with her, that the 'magic was gone'. The truth was Daniel thought that was a bunch of bullshit. Magic. Daniel never felt any magic with her. She was hot and he was interested. That was it. He made the mistake of dating the class valedictorian. He was easily twice as smart as she was but he was what the teachers called 'a boy with potential' or 'a lost cause' and the students called 'a punk' and 'a freak'. He aced all the tests and his homework. But his class participation was non-existent. He sat in the back of the room, doodling hieroglyphics and such or daydreaming out the window. He looked like he wasn't paying attention but when a teacher called on him he responded quietly and matter-of-factly, correct every time. But that didn't matter.

He had blonde hair streaked with blue that was either spiked in every direction or laying flat over his face. The torn jeans, the hard-rock band t-shirts, and the dirty red converse gave a vibe of being pissed off to the other students. Its what Jessica, and the dozen other girls he dated during high school, found so alluring. They wanted one of two things; to break free from their crowd of trust funds and pompoms and show off to their friends. Or they wanted to change him, be the one to 'tame' him, so to speak.

It was high school life. Daniel may be the youngest in his class, but he could see the reality of the whole situation. High school students hooked up senior year and the summer after for the sake of hooking up. He wasn't expecting to form a lifelong relationship with any of these girls. He wasn't even sure he wanted to. Daniel wanted someone to care about, someone to provide some sort of stability. One of the girls, Lydia, could have been that girl. But Daniel blew it. He cared about her a lot, but Daniel didn't want anything to anchor him to this school, to this place. He planned on leaving come September for Chicago. He didn't want anything tying him down, even if it meant the girl of his dreams.

At least that was his excuse. The truth was Daniel was afraid. He didn't know how to have a relationship. He didn't want to hurt her, or get hurt. Disappointment seemed to follow Daniel around. He didn't want to commit to something only to have it taken away. He couldn't afford to have that done to him again. So Daniel stuck to relationships that he knew would never mean anything. He stuck to the girls who felt 'the magic' for three months and then got bored. He hoped that with college and the start of his life, that would change. But that small bit of hope was like the girls he dated. You could always count on them abandoning you.


	4. Chapter 4: Sex as a Weapon

Chapter 4 : Sex as a Weapon

Daniel gently rolled Sarah over onto her side and as she fell asleep. Gently pulling his arm out beneath her he rolled over to the opposite side of the bed. He lay there for a moment, trying to catch his breath. This always happened with Sarah. She took his breath away. Not because of the love he felt for her. He cared about her, but not in that way. She was very good at sex. He loved kissing her. They kissed almost the whole time as they fucked and it took Daniel's breath away.

At last regaining a normal breath rate, Daniel gently climbed out of bed and grabbed his boxers that had been thrown callously to the floor in the haste to get naked. They had gotten in another fight. Sarah accused Daniel of not loving her like she deserved to be loved. Daniel knew she was right. But Daniel didn't say that. Instead he grabbed her and kissed her hard. Not seconds later they were tearing at each others clothes. It was unfair. Daniel knew that. Instead of discussing the task at hand, Daniel used sex to show Sarah what she wanted to hear. Daniel may be a linguist, but when it came to matters of the heart, he was a loss at words.

Daniel pulled on his boxers and made his way over to the small kitchen, tripping over one of his red sneakers in the middle of the floor on his way through the small on-campus apartment. Here he was twenty five years old and about to end his career. He sat down at the kitchen table looked at the plane ticket that would take him to New York. He had an apartment picked out and would begin his grant at the Museum of New York in two weeks. His theories would take him away from Dr. Jordan, distancing himself from his mentor to save the man's reputation as a scholar. Daniel knew his theories were right, it was proving it to academia that would be the issue.

It was the reason he and Sarah got in the fight. She felt the he was willing to throw everything they had together out the window just so he could stir up the academic community. Daniel used sex to silence her. He cared very much about Sarah Gardner, but not enough to keep him from pursing his dreams. For the past six months he shared a relationship with her. Whenever he was confused or lost, he turned to sex. When they got in a fight, they resolved it with sex. Sex with Sarah was dependable. It was routine. It happened the same way every time. Even before Sarah, sex with women on campus was simple. Even when he came to terms with his bisexuality and began having relationship with men at college, sex was still simple. It never became complicated. Relationships were complicated. It made Daniel question his worth when he couldn't resolve something with another human being. So he turned to sex. Sex let him focus solely on the pleasure of the task. He didn't sleep around but the select partners he did have, including Sarah, made nothing else matter in those moments where sex overtook everything.

Daniel knew as he looked at the plane ticket that for the next week and a half left in Chicago Sarah and he would fight, make up with sex, and do it all over again numerous times. It was something he counted on. It was a something he could use to fight his own insecurities about his capability of holding a relationship. It was a temporary weapon that he used to forget everything that troubled him during the day. And when he got to New York he wouldn't have to forget. His life would never be the same once he delivered his theories and he would have something else to focus on.


	5. Chapter 5:Prevents Lasting Relationships

Chapter 5 : Preventing self from forming real emotional bonds

Daniel only regretted one thing about his new home on Abydos. He regretted that he had to travel light-years away to find somewhere to fit in. He didn't feel like he belonged, but he did feel comfortable here. The people had been nothing but warm and welcoming in the six months he'd been on the planet. These people had taken him in and he would be forever grateful to them.

And then there was Sha're; this gorgeous woman who he wed accidentally. She was the perfect woman with an amazing heart and personality. And she loved Daniel. That concept alone was foreign to Daniel, very much like the planet he now inhabited. All his life he steered away from any real bonds our of fear of abandonment. But now here was this woman who he could honestly say he cared about and loved. Daniel just wondered if it was the love Sha're was giving him.

Daniel would do anything for this woman. His love for her was unconditional. But deep down Daniel knew that this wasn't where his life would settle. He was only twenty-six. He wanted to do so much more and he knew that he couldn't do that here. He actually longed for the world that had rejected him. He wanted to continue his theories despite the mocking of academia. He even longed for his lazy days of blue jeans, a simple white tee, his converse sneakers, a cup of coffee and a couple chocolate walnut cookies. But that wasn't an option. He opted to stay on Abydos, hoping that this was the place where would belong.

Daniel was happy with Sha're but he wasn't entirely sure that this was the place where he would reside, physically and emotionally. But maybe this was him scared of commitment again. Was it as simple as that same fear that plagued him as he grew up? The fear that made him to afraid to ask Lydia out senior year? The fear he held for years of admitting to his bisexuality until college? The fear that caused him to have sex and not once make love to a man or woman? The insecurities that led him to leave Sarah while he pursued other endeavors?

He didn't know why he couldn't share a relationship with another human being. He never had a best friend or a brother or a sister to fill that void of loneliness in his life. Daniel wanted Sha're to fill that void. He wanted it so badly because he _did_ love her. But was it the real thing. He didn't know. He never knew why the phenomenal bond of companionship eluded him. Daniel just hoped that at some point in the life ahead of him, whether it be on Abydos or Earth or somewhere else, he would find it.


	6. Epilouge : Closed Textbook

Epilouge : Closed Textbook

Daniel hummed softly as he pulled his leather jacket over his navy polo. He closed his locker and went to sit down on the bench in the middle of the locker room. SG1 had just got done with their briefing and were about to head to Minnesota. Jack had invited his former teammates and their new addition to their little family up for a long weekend. His favorite times in his life were those weekends at the cabin or the Friday night movie nights with his friends.

Despite the fact they worked alongside each other everyday, the team spent most of their downtime together. A family was something he hadn't had since he was eight years old. The almost twenty-years of a solitary existence didn't seem to matter. The past nine years however were what defined his life, as far as Daniel was concerned about. He had a family now and that was important.

This was the longest Daniel had ever been in one place. Not counting the year he spent ascended, Daniel had consistently resided in Colorado Springs, a mere fifteen minutes away from each of his teammates. It felt nice. What felt even better was the knowledge that his best friend Jack O'Neill, who now lived in Washington D.C., was still a predominant figure in his life. And Sam Carter was the sister that Daniel never had, the person he could talk to and share everything with. Teal'c was his brother, his treasured friend. They had come a long way in nine years and their bond continued to deepen much to their amazement. And then there was Cameron Mitchell, the latest addition to the SG1 family. Cameron and Daniel had bonded quickly and Daniel was very much enjoying Cameron's presence in his life.

"Daniel?" Sam asked, interrupting his thoughts as she closed her locker, pulling one her leather jacket over her pink camisole, a smile on her face. Daniel looked up at her from where he was tying the laces of his converse. "Humming?"

"What?"

"You were humming," Sam smiled even bigger.

"Really?"

"Indeed, DanielJackson. You were humming," Teal'c said from where he was seated, waiting for his two friends to finish up.

"I don't hum," Daniel insisted. He looked back and forth between Teal'c and Sam, blushing slightly at the incredulous looks they gave him. At that instant, Cameron came busting through the locker room door.

"Hey guys, you coming or am I missing something in here?" he said.

"Daniel's humming," Sam teased. Daniel mock glared at her, standing up from the bench.

"Well he can hum all his pretty little self wants on the way up to Minnesota," Cam joked. "Lets get moving." Teal'c headed for the exit, a giggling Sam in tow. Daniel was last to leave and Cameron closed the door behind him. He moved to walk in stride with his friend.

"Humming?" Cameron joked, placing a hand on Daniel's back.

"Sometimes life's just hum-worthy," Daniel declared, flashing a brilliant smile meant just for Cameron. Cameron just smiled back before dropping his hand.

Daniel put his hands in his pockets as they walked. He couldn't be any happier. It may have taken a while to get to where he was, but as far as Daniel was concerned, the family and life he had was well worth the wait. Case closed.

(authors note: I purposefully did without dialogue throughout the whole story until the end. I wanted the feel of Daniel being alone until the very end where he's reached the point where the void is filled. Just to let you know in case you were wondering. :) hope you liked)


End file.
